Update / Salt Lake

October 25, 2015

Oh holy crap. I am so bad at blogging. I still think I hate it and spend too much time making fun of it to actually do it. Obviously it’s been a really long time since I posted something. The last few months have been cray cray. I am kind of a mess. Too much of a mess to really take time and invest in the internets.

But- writing a quickie update on our little Phamily might make me feel better. Sometimes you just have to put your shit out there.

So in my last post, I was talking about how much anxiety I was having. Mostly because we were in the throws of making the decision to move back to Salt Lake City. Hardest choice we’ve ever made. Long story short, we did.

Brandon was offered a new job, and we made our way back to our old stomping grounds. It’s a good job and a good move. Good to be back with family and friends- but so hard to leave Washington. Too hard to talk about right now. We’ve been living (temporarily) in an apartment while selling our home in Washington and hunting for a new one in Utah. I can’t bring myself to unpack any more than what is absolutely necessary to survive.

I have not cooked a single thing (unless the microwave counts?) since we moved. We have paper plates, cups, and forks. Sorry, environment. (We had spoons, they ran out. Remembering to buy more is hard, so we eat yogurt and cereal with forks. Soup really doesn’t work with a fork, so we drink that out of the mug we use to heat it up in.)  I can’t keep up on laundry, or keep the apartment clean.  I’m totally not myself. I’ve been completely overwhelmed by the move and baby Walter, who has gone from sleeping through the night every night- to not sleeping at all ever. I have weird delayed postpartum issues. Maybe more about that later… but just know that I am not on my A game in the least. I’m dropping balls right and left.

>>please note it’s really hard for me not to make jokes about adolescent boys after that statement<<

This is not meant to be a negative post. Just honest. I am not perfectly handling myself and my children with ease and style. I am barely keeping it together. Sometimes we all get caught up in looking good or even perfect online and social media. Or- the really hard to achieve “perfectly imperfect” which is when we post things about our flaws and shortcomings….but really just make us look amazing. You know what I’m talking about. Well, this is not that. This is seriously one of the most trying times in my life. But- at the end of the day, I am just so thankful for these 3 boys I share my life with. They are the best.

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I remind myself every day that this just one of those phases in life that feels like it’s killing me- but actually it’s teaching me. Teaching me some lesson, making me stronger for something, and brighter days are ahead.

Looking forward to those days!!

Oh, and here’s a photo of what our apartment actually really looks like right this minute. And this is a “good” day. (insert emoji with big eyes showing teeth here)




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