Oh holy crap. I am so bad at blogging. I still think I hate it and spend too much time making fun of it to actually do it. Obviously it’s been a really long time since I posted something. The last few months have been cray cray. I am kind of a mess. Too much of a mess to really take time and invest in the internets.
But- writing a quickie update on our little Phamily might make me feel better. Sometimes you just have to put your shit out there.
So in my last post, I was talking about how much anxiety I was having. Mostly because we were in the throws of making the decision to move back to Salt Lake City. Hardest choice we’ve ever made. Long story short, we did.
Brandon was offered a new job, and we made our way back to our old stomping grounds. It’s a good job and a good move. Good to be back with family and friends- but so hard to leave Washington. Too hard to talk about right now. We’ve been living (temporarily) in an apartment while selling our home in Washington and hunting for a new one in Utah. I can’t bring myself to unpack any more than what is absolutely necessary to survive.
I have not cooked a single thing (unless the microwave counts?) since we moved. We have paper plates, cups, and forks. Sorry, environment. (We had spoons, they ran out. Remembering to buy more is hard, so we eat yogurt and cereal with forks. Soup really doesn’t work with a fork, so we drink that out of the mug we use to heat it up in.) I can’t keep up on laundry, or keep the apartment clean. I’m totally not myself. I’ve been completely overwhelmed by the move and baby Walter, who has gone from sleeping through the night every night- to not sleeping at all ever. I have weird delayed postpartum issues. Maybe more about that later… but just know that I am not on my A game in the least. I’m dropping balls right and left.
>>please note it’s really hard for me not to make jokes about adolescent boys after that statement<<
This is not meant to be a negative post. Just honest. I am not perfectly handling myself and my children with ease and style. I am barely keeping it together. Sometimes we all get caught up in looking good or even perfect online and social media. Or- the really hard to achieve “perfectly imperfect” which is when we post things about our flaws and shortcomings….but really just make us look amazing. You know what I’m talking about. Well, this is not that. This is seriously one of the most trying times in my life. But- at the end of the day, I am just so thankful for these 3 boys I share my life with. They are the best.
I remind myself every day that this just one of those phases in life that feels like it’s killing me- but actually it’s teaching me. Teaching me some lesson, making me stronger for something, and brighter days are ahead.
Looking forward to those days!!
Oh, and here’s a photo of what our apartment actually really looks like right this minute. And this is a “good” day. (insert emoji with big eyes showing teeth here)
so i’ve been super anxious lately. i don’t exactly know why, i just know that there’s been more sleepless nights, and not because of walter, but because of my racing thoughts. it’s midnight right now, and i’m on my laptop, eating watermelon (because i can’t find any chocolate) looking through photos and memories and thinking about what’s to come and what life will bring for my little family of 4.
i’m so i madly in love with my 2 boys i could just explode. they are just the most magnificent things i’ve ever seen. i can’t believe they’re mine. sometimes i actually think to myself “these are mine?? i get to keep them?? what did i do to deserve such wonderful boys??” i feel unworthy sometimes. i’ve been blessed beyond words.
that being said… sometimes it’s not all story time and picnics in meadows. sometimes it’s screaming tantrums, talking back, crying for no reason, and bodily fluids everywhere. -and then there are the kids…
sometimes i am really bad at having 2 kids. i’m not nearly as good at it as i thought i would be. there’s not much grace in my steps these days. i’m quite certain i look like a traveling circus (what i really want to say is shit show) and it’s just not coming to me as easily as i thought it would. motherhood does not always come naturally for me. i have to really try.
instagram is a lie.
this is not one of those posts where i claim to be a bad mom and hope that 200 people leave comments telling me otherwise. (and by 200 i mean the 2 people who read this blog) truthfully, it’s not that i think i’m a “bad mom” – it’s that i’m bad at being a mom, and a decent human being at the same time. usually the “being a mom” comes before the “decent human being” part. i always put my kids first, but man…do i suck at keeping on top of everything else in life. bahahaha.
walter is just the perfect little addition to our family. having him in our home and in our arms for the last 3.5 months has been magic. i love newborns. (ok, i only love my own newborns. other newborns freak me out. so small. too small!!) but i love having such a fresh soul in my home. there’s a sweetness a new baby brings to a home unlike anything else. i feel so lucky to have him.
so even though i can’t seem to keep the laundry pile under mt. everest status, there’s never a clean bottle when i need one, my car is full of empty starbucks cups, i cook the same 3 meals every week on rotation (and by cook i mean reach for the food through my car widow) and flip flops and yoga pants have become my new uniform #capsulewardrobe i’m just so grateful to have these 2 boys. i’m not always great at being their mom, but i sure will keep trying.
OK…so maybe you know, maybe you don’t…but most of my internet existence has been with my online shoppe (I spell it with an extra P and E because it’s fancy)
2 years ago I started the shoppe. I officially took a break this spring just before Walter was born. It was just too much to try and be buying, photographing, listing, and shipping inventory and orders along side 2 kids, 2 dogs, 1 husband and 1 household all by myself. So “shoppe” is closed for now…hoping to re-open eventually…but I dunno. I am enjoying the break. ha.
Anyway…as of late, I have been getting tons of inquiries about some embroidered styles I had in the shoppe last summer. They are petty darn cute and comfortable for these dog days. I basically live in them right now.
So- after popular demand, I will be doing a pre-sale for some embroidered pieces this week on Instagram. (which I am having some serious feelings about IG lately…but more on that later)
You will find all available styles, colors, prices on my “closet sale” IG account
To purchase one, leave your email in the comments below each style you would like. A PayPal invoice will be sent, and then you have 24 hours to pay the invoice to ensure your purchase. Expecting to ship mid-july $6 domestic, $15 international.
On April 7th 2015 at 10:44 in the morning, Walter Duke was born!
6 lbs 5 oz // 18 inches
Healthy. Happy. Well.
On Monday April 6th, while out for my nightly walk with Bauer, our black lab, I was having some pretty intense back pain. Not thinking it was labor pains, I kept walking. Then my water broke. So I walked faster. Made it home and made some quick arrangements for a babysitter to come be with Miles, grabbed the bag (that had been packed for 2 months…just in case) and 14 relatively quiet hours later, Walter arrived.
I feel spoiled and almost unworthy to have the blessing of experiencing 2 smooth deliveries of 2 healthy baby boys in my life. I have no words to express the relief and gratitude I feel. Other than some intense labor pain and nausea on the way to the hospital, everything went swimmingly. (I may or may not have barfed outside the window of our moving car a couple times)
Sorry, Seattle drivers.
I know a lot of women who have the strength and all mighty super power to have babies all naturally, at home, with out medicine or doctors. Good for them…
YOU GO GIRLS.
I however, am NOT one of those. And I don’t feel bad about it.
I am so grateful to live in a time with such amazing technology and experienced doctors, whom I fully put my trust in to help bring this little squirt into the world. The nurses and doctors at Swedish Medical Center in Seattle were truly fantastic, and they deserve lots of praise, treats and presents.
Adjusting to life with 2 kids has been a blur. We are tired, there’s always a pile of laundry in the corner, dishes in the sink, and always something wet on my shirt, the origin of which is anyone’s guess. Big brother Miles had a really hard time the first week. There was a lot of acting out, and he called us “Bwittany” and “Bwandon” in an angry tone instead of “Mom and Dad” for a while, but, he’s calmed down now and we’ve gained our parental titles back. We’ve all survived the first 5 weeks and things are moving right along. I have majorly slacked on taking photos. (Something I’m sure to regret in a few months when I am sad that he is big and I wish I had 500 pictures on my iPhone to cry over.) But here are a few blurry, dark ones from the hospital and from our first week at home…
I’ve been trying really hard to eat more healthy lately. The first 6 months of this pregnancy was fueled by a lot of really bad greasy, salty, cheap fast food. For some reason the only thing that I ever had an appetite for were accompanied by fries and smothered in cheese. And then there were the donuts…
While weight gain is not a huge concern for me while pregnant (after all…that is what you are supposed to do) health, especially of the baby, is a concern, and I decided it was time to start eating healthy near the beginning of my third trimester. Better late than never?
Last summer I gave the old WHOLE 30 plan a try. I actually did it 2 times completely with no cheating. I fell in love with the changes it made in my body and mind. I found I had a surplus of energy, focus, and motivation. My skin cleared and my hair looked shinier and healthier than it had in years. I did not lose tons of pounds. This is not a “crash diet” or “cleanse” that’s going to make you drop a bunch of weight. The WHOLE 30 lifestyle is not about losing weight, but it’s about gaining health. For me, it gave me a sense of control which I don’t always have over my appetite.
So, at the beginning of my third trimester I started cutting out the crap and filling in the goods. Using the “WHOLE 30 PLAN” as a guideline, but not doing it 100% right now. I do take in some grains a few times a week. My meals mainly consist of veggies (mainly greens), proteins, and fruits. Of course I do have an occasional treat/splurge…after-all it is Cadbury Egg season…but my cravings for sweets and carbs have lessened noticeably. I eat plenty of calories and fats, but most of them are coming from clean sources. I don’t even want know how many avocados I consume in a week…
I can’t believe what a difference the last several weeks has made. I feel SO MUCH BETTER than when I was having a daily serving of Taco Bell. My energy is bursting through the roof (which for a naturally lazy person who is 35 weeks pregnant, is amazing!) I sleep better and more solid at night, I hardly ever crave sugar. I find that I crave strawberries, oranges, and bananas above all else. It’s like a switch was flipped in my body and instead of processed sugars, it just wants natural sugars. It really is amazing. I make sure to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, eggs, avocados, nuts, and almond butter. I eat snacks throughout the day to make sure I’m getting enough food for the baby. I drink tons of water and no soda.
Here is an example of a common lunch I eat. It’s so easy, and full of healthy things. It’s fresh and light, but leaves me feeling full and satisfied.
Start with a pile of fresh spring mix greens on a plate.
Toss some broccoli, onion, asparagus (or carrots, peppers etc…whatever you have on hand will do!) in a pan with some olive oil or coconut oil. Add salt, pepper, and fresh garlic. Stir fry them around to your liking. Then, add a fresh chopped tomato into the hot pain. (this will add a natural sweetness) Just toss all the veggies around for about 40 seconds with the tomatoes, then dump the hot veggies onto the spring mix lettuce on your plate.
While the pan is still hot and lightly coated with the oil, crack an egg in and cook it to over-easy (I prefer over-medium) Then slide the egg off the pan onto the warm veggies.
Drizzle olive oil over the top, add salt & pepper to taste, and garnish with 1/2 an avocado.
The olive oil, hot veggies and egg yolk come together and wilt the greens a little. It Makes a yummy, easy, healthy, and “WHOLE 30 compliant” meal. It’s loaded with good fats and proteins good for baby growing, or just for you!
Nesting is in full bloom around here. The 6 week count down till baby has begun, and suddenly all I want to do is clean every closet, drawer, cupboard, and corner of the house. I am purging. I cleaned my closet and am having in Instagram closet sale on Monday March 2nd. @gypsyclosetsale
Here’s a mini glance at a few things that will be available. Everything is in excellent or brand new condition. First person to leave email in comments will receive a PayPal invoice within 24 hours. Invoice must be paid with 24 hours or item will go to 2nd person to leave email.
$3 shipping applied to every order + $1 per additional item.
Well, things are wrapping up nicely over at Gypsy Threads, which is sad and satisfying all at once. I do love my little online shoppe, but I’m excited for the opportunity to focus on my little family.
I am excited to launch this new blog, mostly for the sake of my own sanity. I am a person who needs a creative outlet all the time. I go crayyyzee if I don’t have some kind of project or activity of my own. When my first baby (Miles) was born 3 years ago, I had just sold my store in SLC, and we moved to Washington. I took about a year off to focus on being a mom and adjusting to life in a new place. That time was so good for me. It was a chance to breath, and take in the fact that life as a non-parent was over. After about a year, I was craving for the creative outlet. That’s when I started Gypsy Threads.
For me, running the online retail business is a bit overwhelming with 2 kids. So, this blog will hopefully tide me over till the time comes when I am ready and able to restart the business, or maybe jump into something new.
I know…who needs another blog to read? Who the hell cares? I get it. Even I find it slightly annoying. But, I’m gonna give it a go. I’m not selling anything, I’m not pushing a brand or agenda. I’m sarcastic and messy. This is just a little space to doodle some nonsense.
I hope you’ll give it a chance!
Thanks for all your support over the last 2 years…I really do appreciate all the customers, followers and friends I’ve made along the way.